It has almost been a whole year since I last posted on this blog. I have never been good at maintaining a blog. I think the idea is novel, but it is a task that I often neglect when my mind is in a funk.
So much has happened in the last year. But at the same time, I feel the same feeling of "Ho-hum, nothing happens in my life." I remember as a child, I would wish I had an exciting life. It always seems that I live in a boring town, working a boring job, being boring with all my boring friends. Here's what is interesting though: my siblings think I have an exciting, fun-filled life. If only they knew the truth. But, I guess if I was their age, I would probably think that my life is interesting. It is nice to have them around to remind me that a dull life doesn't mean that it isn't significant and fun.
Back in the spring, my mom found out that her cancer is back. Her breast cancer has metastasized to the bone. She is now stage 4. We aren't really sure exactly how much longer she will be with us. I am quite shocked and numb about it all. I am actually surprised that I am becoming angry about it all. And I am not sure why. I always looked up to my mom as a child. She could do not wrong in my eyes, and I would defend her against everyone when people decided to disagree with her. There was/is no other woman in this world who is as beautiful and graceful as she is in my eyes. Some of my earliest memories as a child is sitting on the toilet while she got ready for the day. I would just watch her as she did her hair and put on her make-up. She would never leave the house (even to take us kids to school or pick us up) without looking spectacular. I picked that habit up from her. To this day, I feel that I need to be the best version of myself before I leave the house. She and I loved to dream....and we'd dream about everything. We would talk about the younger siblings before they were born. When my mom was pregnant with my sister, we would sit in her nursery and just imagine what my sister was going to look like. I loved how my mom and I would decorate for the holidays. It used to be a family ordeal, but after we all got a little older, my mom and I became in charge of transforming the house into a holiday wonderland. Many quirks/habits I have now, I distinctively remember my mom being the same way.
About 3 and a half years ago, when I came out, my mom and I had a melt-down in our relationship. She, being a Christian and a devout baptist, cannot allow herself to be accepting of that in me. And, I cannot allow myself to be put back into the closet in which I lived for 25 years. I remember before I came out and my mom had her first bout with cancer, I had decided to stay closeted...I didn't want there to be any issues that would hinder my mom's and my relationship if we only had a few moments left together. Unfortunately, we cannot plan and make life happen the way we want.
I guess the reason I am becoming angry is because I feel that we are running out of time to restore the friendship we used to have. She was my best friend for 25 years. She could look at me from across the room and know my mood and mind. And, in return, I could do the same to her. All of our likes and dislikes are the same. Our creative ideas are very similar. My mom would have an idea, and I could execute it!
I am being told over and over from friends and family that I do not want to have any regrets. And I totally agree...I don't want to have them. But how? I have become very good at not blowing up and getting into tense arguments. But at what point does one dig his heels in and make his voice heard?
I can't help but wonder, "Does Mom miss me and the friendship we once had?" "Will she ever understand who I am?" "Will she ever accept me for who I am...not for who she had planned for me to be?" "Will I be able to breath when she is no longer?"
My mind races constantly. We all realize that there is less time together, but my greatest question is: DOES SHE WANT ME TO AN ACTIVE PERSON IN THE LAST MOMENTS OF HER LIFE. Since we have broken off our codependent relationship, have I been replaced?
There are 8 children in my family. As a child, I never worried about having the attention of my mother. But the older I get, I wonder if I have been moved to the curb, like some recyclable magazine that is way past it's date. I know there are younger siblings that haven't had as much time with my mom as I have had, but still, does that mean that my time has been used up? If so, that raises another question: was the relationship I had as a child worth more than being close to her in the autumn season of her life?
I have always heard that there aren't enough hours in a day, but my question is, "Are there enough days in a lifetime to get over the past to preserve what's left of the future?"
Yes, my mom and I can fight hard, but I truly hope we can love even harder! I don't want regrets and I don't want to lose my identity....
Friday, November 13, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
25 Random Things about JARED!!!!
Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I have lived a third of my life in California, a third in Oklahoma and a third in Texas.
2. I have lived in Celina since 2002 and it is the longest I have ever lived in one place.
3. I played the bass clarinet in school.
4. I never thought of myself as a dog person, but Cappie warms my heart and makes me smile every time I see her.
5. I used to want to be a mortician...sometimes still think it would be an awesome career.
6. I once sold a $850 bottle of wine.
7. I love listening to older people's stories...there are always hidden lessons in every story they tell.
8. My parents taught me this and I have learned it works: Cast your bread upon the water and it will return to you.
9. I've met Jane Fonda at one of her book signings.
10. I played soccer in high school ... and actually lettered!
11. For a single person, friends are a great source of strength and support.
12. I've learned it is best to be honest with yourself...face the facts of life...and play with the cards dealt to you.
13. I don't like wearing hats...I think they make my hair fall out at a faster pace.
14. This last year, I finally quit biting my finger nails.
15. I collect odd pieces from silver services.
16. I don't really like chocolate. I can eat it, but it's not my favorite.
17. Someday I would like to write a book.
18. I am extremely afraid of snakes.
19. In college I was in an opera.
20. I love game nights with friends.
21. I've learned that a breaking heart can feel more like a heart attack.
22. I always sleep sound when I cry before I go to bed...ha ha ha, don't know why that is...
23. Going over to my parents house, sitting down at the piano and playing for a while makes me feel secure.
24. God is so much more than just a label from a denomination.
25. I could listen to Southern Gospel Music all day long.
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I have lived a third of my life in California, a third in Oklahoma and a third in Texas.
2. I have lived in Celina since 2002 and it is the longest I have ever lived in one place.
3. I played the bass clarinet in school.
4. I never thought of myself as a dog person, but Cappie warms my heart and makes me smile every time I see her.
5. I used to want to be a mortician...sometimes still think it would be an awesome career.
6. I once sold a $850 bottle of wine.
7. I love listening to older people's stories...there are always hidden lessons in every story they tell.
8. My parents taught me this and I have learned it works: Cast your bread upon the water and it will return to you.
9. I've met Jane Fonda at one of her book signings.
10. I played soccer in high school ... and actually lettered!
11. For a single person, friends are a great source of strength and support.
12. I've learned it is best to be honest with yourself...face the facts of life...and play with the cards dealt to you.
13. I don't like wearing hats...I think they make my hair fall out at a faster pace.
14. This last year, I finally quit biting my finger nails.
15. I collect odd pieces from silver services.
16. I don't really like chocolate. I can eat it, but it's not my favorite.
17. Someday I would like to write a book.
18. I am extremely afraid of snakes.
19. In college I was in an opera.
20. I love game nights with friends.
21. I've learned that a breaking heart can feel more like a heart attack.
22. I always sleep sound when I cry before I go to bed...ha ha ha, don't know why that is...
23. Going over to my parents house, sitting down at the piano and playing for a while makes me feel secure.
24. God is so much more than just a label from a denomination.
25. I could listen to Southern Gospel Music all day long.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Numb or Done?!?!?
It's the holiday season...I am beginning to hate that time of year. It used to be a time that I looked forward to, but the last few years has changed that for me. And, I don't know if I should blame anyone one thing or person for it, or if I should blame myself.
Is there a certain age when a single person should completely remove himself from the family circle? I am 27 and am finding it more difficult each year when it comes to showing up to my parents house. I feel that I am an adult and should be respected as such...not treated as though I am a child since I don't have a spouse or children. I can't help but wonder if there is a commencement ceremony for adulthood...if so, when and where is it?
How does one create distance between an emotional wound and its creator? How does a child forget years of memories and friendships since it is evident that those days are over? What fills the void that is created with the absence of a parental friendship? What is unconditional love...and did I ever have or receive that?
These are all questions that have been burning my mind since I returned home from my parents' house last night. I guess I will never understand the dynamics of being a parent...sometimes that saddens me. But, I wonder how a parent can automatically believe their beliefs when her child is completely different from what she was taught to be truth. Is it just wishful thinking for me to want my mom to investigate more about the issues that effect my life than for her to just assume she has all the answers to any question that might be posed against her?
I also wonder if Biblical literalists have become the "pharisees" of our day. I know a bunch of people who say they believe the Bible is literally true but I am finding some great inconsistencies.
Taken literally, the Bible says the earth is flat and setting on pillars and cannot move (1 Chr 16:30, Ps 93:1, Ps 96:10, 1 Sam 2:8, Job 9:6). It says that great sea monsters are set to guard the edge of the sea (Job 41, Ps 104:26) According to the Bible, the sun moves around the earth, not the other way around (Josh 10:12-13). We all recall from history, the fate of Galileo and Copernicus for their blasphemous claims that the earth is round and that the earth goes round the sun. However, in this day and time, I have never met anyone who seriously contends that the world is flat on authority of the Bible.
There are a multitude of laws given in the old testament which literalists don't take literally: food laws, laws about clothing, laws relating to nearly every detail of life in at the time the old testament was written. But there are laws given in the new testament that almost no one takes literally any more. For example, Jesus forbids his followers from swearing oaths of any kind (Matt 5:34) and Jesus instructed his followers to cut off their hand if it led them into sin (Matt 5:30).
But there are other passages of scripture which those who claim to believe that the Bible is literally true do not take literally. For example, in Mark 16:16 Jesus said, "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned," yet most fundamentalist evangelicals hold to the position that baptism is not necessary for salvation and I Cor 15:29 refers to baptism for the dead, a practice which is repudiated by most Biblical literalists.
Makes me wonder: So if these people don't really believe the Bible is literally true, why do they say they do? What do they mean when they say the Bible is literally true? There are several reasons people claim the Bible is literally true.
1. Most people who believe the Bible is literally true have never really thought about it to see if that is a sensible thing to believe or not. A trusted pastor repeatedly claimed that the Bible is literally true and frequently condemned people who don't believe the Bible is literally true as tools of satan and unbelievers in danger of eternal damnation. These people know they don't want to be one of the infidels, so they agree that the Bible must be literally true.
2. A lot of people who say they believe the Bible is literally true have either not read the Bible or have not read the Bible critically examining each verse to determine if it can be taken literally. Some of these people read the Bible through, cover to cover, every year, but reading the Bible through is not the same as critically examining each verse to determine if it can be taken literally.
3. Many people who believe the Bible is literally true mean that they believe in
* a literal 6 day creation (just say no to evolution),
* a literal world wide flood with a literal boat large enough to hold contained two of every animal on earth,
* a literal parting of the red sea with a high wall of water on each side like in the movie,
* etc.
* They select certain verses and passages and believe those passages and stories are literal and ignore the rest. This is "pick and choose literalism." The parts of the Bible you agree with you take literally, the parts you disagree with must be interpreted symbolically or metaphorically.
4. A lot of people don't have any idea what it means to believe that the Bible is literally true. A friend and I got into a discussion about literalism one evening not long ago and his understanding was that large sections of the Bible had to be interpreted symbolically and metaphorically (like the parts about the earth being flat) but that once you figured out what the symbolism was then that was literally true. At that point in the discussion I realized that he didn't believe the Bible was literally true either but it was clear he'd never admit it to me or to himself.
But there are a good many individuals who have read and studied the Bible carefully, who have seminary degrees, who can read the original languages, who know the history of the canon, who know something of archaeology and the culture and history of Bible times who still teach and preach that the Bible is literally true. Why do these people keep saying it?
When someone says they believe the Bible is literally true, they mean you are not allowed to disagree with them or question their beliefs. They use literalism as a defense, as a security blanket, to avoid having to think about or defend their beliefs. Some individuals use Biblical literalism as a cudgel to keep their followers in line. Their sermons that appeal to literalism imply that "if you disagree with me you are a tool of satan, an unbeliever in danger of eternal damnation." In some cases this is simple demagoguery.
For the Bible to be true it must be interpreted correctly. Over the centuries, many horrific things have been done in the name of the Bible, spanish inquisition, crusades, slavery, repression of women, burning witches, etc. The problem is not God, the problem is incorrect interpretation of scripture.
Literalists say, there is only one possible interpretation and that is the one I believe.
I can't help but wonder, "So whose interpretation are we supposed to accept? How do you interpret the Bible correctly?"
Only by much prayer, study, and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit
We never have had a complete or perfect understanding of God and God's laws. So it is not surprising that things we used to think were wrong or right are now thought of differently. Over the years our attitudes have changed dramatically toward things like going to the movies, listening to the radio, dancing, alcohol consumption, divorce, slavery.... These changes don't mean that we are less moral or have abandoned God's laws, but rather that we have a better understanding of how God's laws apply in our lives today. In addition it is reasonable to expect some things that are considered right today will be considered wrong in the future and that some things that are considered wrong today will be considered right at some time in the future. It made good sense for there to be a law against eating pork in old testament times when most pork was infected with dangerous microorganisms. But todays animal husbandry and food preparation techniques make that law irrelevant.
So how can "Christian" people cast judgment on those who don't believe exactly what the christians want them to? My great-grandfather was a member of the KKK. He was also a baptist pastor...a respected spiritual leader. Did time and "evolution" of society not prove that the Bible shouldn't be taken 100% literally?
I am finding myself becoming very distant from those who are so stooped in their religion that they can't see past the ink on the page to see the Christ that lived those passages.
WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!
Is there a certain age when a single person should completely remove himself from the family circle? I am 27 and am finding it more difficult each year when it comes to showing up to my parents house. I feel that I am an adult and should be respected as such...not treated as though I am a child since I don't have a spouse or children. I can't help but wonder if there is a commencement ceremony for adulthood...if so, when and where is it?
How does one create distance between an emotional wound and its creator? How does a child forget years of memories and friendships since it is evident that those days are over? What fills the void that is created with the absence of a parental friendship? What is unconditional love...and did I ever have or receive that?
These are all questions that have been burning my mind since I returned home from my parents' house last night. I guess I will never understand the dynamics of being a parent...sometimes that saddens me. But, I wonder how a parent can automatically believe their beliefs when her child is completely different from what she was taught to be truth. Is it just wishful thinking for me to want my mom to investigate more about the issues that effect my life than for her to just assume she has all the answers to any question that might be posed against her?
I also wonder if Biblical literalists have become the "pharisees" of our day. I know a bunch of people who say they believe the Bible is literally true but I am finding some great inconsistencies.
Taken literally, the Bible says the earth is flat and setting on pillars and cannot move (1 Chr 16:30, Ps 93:1, Ps 96:10, 1 Sam 2:8, Job 9:6). It says that great sea monsters are set to guard the edge of the sea (Job 41, Ps 104:26) According to the Bible, the sun moves around the earth, not the other way around (Josh 10:12-13). We all recall from history, the fate of Galileo and Copernicus for their blasphemous claims that the earth is round and that the earth goes round the sun. However, in this day and time, I have never met anyone who seriously contends that the world is flat on authority of the Bible.
There are a multitude of laws given in the old testament which literalists don't take literally: food laws, laws about clothing, laws relating to nearly every detail of life in at the time the old testament was written. But there are laws given in the new testament that almost no one takes literally any more. For example, Jesus forbids his followers from swearing oaths of any kind (Matt 5:34) and Jesus instructed his followers to cut off their hand if it led them into sin (Matt 5:30).
But there are other passages of scripture which those who claim to believe that the Bible is literally true do not take literally. For example, in Mark 16:16 Jesus said, "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned," yet most fundamentalist evangelicals hold to the position that baptism is not necessary for salvation and I Cor 15:29 refers to baptism for the dead, a practice which is repudiated by most Biblical literalists.
Makes me wonder: So if these people don't really believe the Bible is literally true, why do they say they do? What do they mean when they say the Bible is literally true? There are several reasons people claim the Bible is literally true.
1. Most people who believe the Bible is literally true have never really thought about it to see if that is a sensible thing to believe or not. A trusted pastor repeatedly claimed that the Bible is literally true and frequently condemned people who don't believe the Bible is literally true as tools of satan and unbelievers in danger of eternal damnation. These people know they don't want to be one of the infidels, so they agree that the Bible must be literally true.
2. A lot of people who say they believe the Bible is literally true have either not read the Bible or have not read the Bible critically examining each verse to determine if it can be taken literally. Some of these people read the Bible through, cover to cover, every year, but reading the Bible through is not the same as critically examining each verse to determine if it can be taken literally.
3. Many people who believe the Bible is literally true mean that they believe in
* a literal 6 day creation (just say no to evolution),
* a literal world wide flood with a literal boat large enough to hold contained two of every animal on earth,
* a literal parting of the red sea with a high wall of water on each side like in the movie,
* etc.
* They select certain verses and passages and believe those passages and stories are literal and ignore the rest. This is "pick and choose literalism." The parts of the Bible you agree with you take literally, the parts you disagree with must be interpreted symbolically or metaphorically.
4. A lot of people don't have any idea what it means to believe that the Bible is literally true. A friend and I got into a discussion about literalism one evening not long ago and his understanding was that large sections of the Bible had to be interpreted symbolically and metaphorically (like the parts about the earth being flat) but that once you figured out what the symbolism was then that was literally true. At that point in the discussion I realized that he didn't believe the Bible was literally true either but it was clear he'd never admit it to me or to himself.
But there are a good many individuals who have read and studied the Bible carefully, who have seminary degrees, who can read the original languages, who know the history of the canon, who know something of archaeology and the culture and history of Bible times who still teach and preach that the Bible is literally true. Why do these people keep saying it?
When someone says they believe the Bible is literally true, they mean you are not allowed to disagree with them or question their beliefs. They use literalism as a defense, as a security blanket, to avoid having to think about or defend their beliefs. Some individuals use Biblical literalism as a cudgel to keep their followers in line. Their sermons that appeal to literalism imply that "if you disagree with me you are a tool of satan, an unbeliever in danger of eternal damnation." In some cases this is simple demagoguery.
For the Bible to be true it must be interpreted correctly. Over the centuries, many horrific things have been done in the name of the Bible, spanish inquisition, crusades, slavery, repression of women, burning witches, etc. The problem is not God, the problem is incorrect interpretation of scripture.
Literalists say, there is only one possible interpretation and that is the one I believe.
I can't help but wonder, "So whose interpretation are we supposed to accept? How do you interpret the Bible correctly?"
Only by much prayer, study, and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit
We never have had a complete or perfect understanding of God and God's laws. So it is not surprising that things we used to think were wrong or right are now thought of differently. Over the years our attitudes have changed dramatically toward things like going to the movies, listening to the radio, dancing, alcohol consumption, divorce, slavery.... These changes don't mean that we are less moral or have abandoned God's laws, but rather that we have a better understanding of how God's laws apply in our lives today. In addition it is reasonable to expect some things that are considered right today will be considered wrong in the future and that some things that are considered wrong today will be considered right at some time in the future. It made good sense for there to be a law against eating pork in old testament times when most pork was infected with dangerous microorganisms. But todays animal husbandry and food preparation techniques make that law irrelevant.
So how can "Christian" people cast judgment on those who don't believe exactly what the christians want them to? My great-grandfather was a member of the KKK. He was also a baptist pastor...a respected spiritual leader. Did time and "evolution" of society not prove that the Bible shouldn't be taken 100% literally?
I am finding myself becoming very distant from those who are so stooped in their religion that they can't see past the ink on the page to see the Christ that lived those passages.
WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!
Monday, November 3, 2008
The weekend
So after the week I had last week, I decided to have a relaxing fun weekend for myself. On Friday night, I ordered pizza and relaxed. Then on Saturday, my family celebrated my mom's 53rd birthday. My dad smoked brisket and bologna and we had a nice late lunch. Then that night, I was bored, so I dragged my Christmas trees out of storage and put them up. I love Christmastime. There is magic in the air, and I love how everything has an extra special look. I have three trees. I have one 6 foot tree, a 4 foot tree and a 3 foot tree. Here are the pictures:
The Littlest tree:
The Mid-sized tree:
And this is my big tree:
I am sure many will think I am completely insane for putting my trees up so early, but it was a great way for me to relax and be happy without spending one penny. I have the next two months to put out all my decorations, but I wanted to get my trees up this weekend.
Oh yeah, I also got a new piece of furniture this last week. A friend of mine was moving and didn't have room at her new place and didn't have room in her storage for this vanity. I have always thought it was beautiful, so she gave me first dibs on it! I am excited! Here's its picture:
I hope everyone has a great week! ;-)
The Littlest tree:
The Mid-sized tree:
And this is my big tree:
I am sure many will think I am completely insane for putting my trees up so early, but it was a great way for me to relax and be happy without spending one penny. I have the next two months to put out all my decorations, but I wanted to get my trees up this weekend.
Oh yeah, I also got a new piece of furniture this last week. A friend of mine was moving and didn't have room at her new place and didn't have room in her storage for this vanity. I have always thought it was beautiful, so she gave me first dibs on it! I am excited! Here's its picture:
I hope everyone has a great week! ;-)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Two-faced
Current mood: 
pissed off
pissed off I realize, to a certain extent, we are all two-faced. We all have to put on different masks for the different scenarios with which we are presented. I realize we are a different person at work than we are at home. We have a complete different vocabulary used there, I mean no in my family would understand the terms: optimization, keywords, page ranking, targeted traffic, etc. We go to church and use another set of terms: hallelujah, adoration, back-slidden, etc. We can pick different places, and I am convinced that we are different people for different places. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing, we just naturally do that.
Here's the problem I have... Why should we be someone completely different with our own family? Are these people supposed to be the people who know us most intimately? Are we not supposed to be understanding and honest with family? Shouldn't we be empathetic and "soul-knowing" of those who share the same blood line as us?
I am pissed that I was fooled by a family member. I was blamed for something that had nothing to do with me other than orientation, and when I showed up to visit with family, everyone acted calm. Then I get to work today and find out that I was/am being blamed for something that happened. Seriously, I wish if someone has an issue with me, they would state it instead of being distant and implying that they are just tired. And, who gives others the authority to cast blame before finding out who instigated anything? Above all, we all need to remember that no one is without fault. I think I do a pretty good job at showing my real self. For years, I played the game of hiding myself, my thoughts and my attitude. But the last two years has been a great learning experience. I am a more effective person because I am not trying to fool myself or even my family. I cannot help that some people don't have the balls to be who they truly are. I cannot help that people don't have the balls to actually speak what they truly believe. I cannot help that some people don't have the nerve to actually look me in the eyes to see who I am and what I actually believe. I cannot help that some people don't have the balls to be honest with themselves, and better yet, God.
I know how difficult and scary it can seem to face honesty for the first time. I've been there done that...And I might add, it wasn't my choice to be honest. If I'd had my way about it, I would have stayed closeted until after those who I thought would "crucify" me had long passed away. I was busted out of the closet by the one who chooses to be dishonest and two-faced with me. However, as much as I wish I would have had the nerve/guts/balls to be honest with myself and family, I felt I couldn't...so in a way I understand. But since I have faced reality and honesty, I know it truly is the best policy.
I am sure this seems vague, but whatever....I had to vent somehow. I'll just say this: it is a sad day when those who give off the air that they are God's greatest Christians can't even face honesty. How do they ever plan on being effective in "the Lord's work?"
Sorry for venting...but whatever......
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Mundane
Mundane....that seems to describe life to a "T" right now. My 27th birthday came and went. Although it can be depressing that I am another year older, and it seems none the wiser, I was quite pleased that nothing eventful happened on the 29th.
I think my birthday is a cursed day.... More than 1/4 of my birthdays have been bad...so I am always a little skeptical when my birthday rolls around. Even though I didn't do anything spectacular, I did get to bed early and had a full night's rest. My family and I celebrated the day before. It was the first time I have ever had a decorated cake that was bought...so that was exciting!
This last Sunday, I sang in church. The last time I had done that was Easter...I know that might not seem like a long time, but when one considers that I used to sing everyday, 7 months is a long time. It was a great service, and I was honored to be a part of it all. I enjoy being back in music. But, I am extremely nervous to be a part of the band since it is not the style of music I am accustomed to.
I am still loving my scooter. It is nice being able to get to places real quickly. I also like being mobile. I have been able to be a little more social with friends and different functions they host. This last week, I was able to go to friends' houses to watch the 2 presidential and vice presidential debates. Of course, being here in Celina, I am one of 2 people my age who are democrats. That's ok...I am confident that God will open the eyes of those who can't see the light yet...ha ha ha.
I am not a sports fan...never have been one, but tomorrow night, I am going to a pre-UT/Oklahoma game party. It should be fun. It will be at the home of the pharmacists here in town. My family always roots for Oklahoma, but everyone here in Celina backs UT. Thankfully I don't follow sports so no one expects me to support any certain team.
Well, I should get back to my mundane life..... Have a great day!
I think my birthday is a cursed day.... More than 1/4 of my birthdays have been bad...so I am always a little skeptical when my birthday rolls around. Even though I didn't do anything spectacular, I did get to bed early and had a full night's rest. My family and I celebrated the day before. It was the first time I have ever had a decorated cake that was bought...so that was exciting!
This last Sunday, I sang in church. The last time I had done that was Easter...I know that might not seem like a long time, but when one considers that I used to sing everyday, 7 months is a long time. It was a great service, and I was honored to be a part of it all. I enjoy being back in music. But, I am extremely nervous to be a part of the band since it is not the style of music I am accustomed to.
I am still loving my scooter. It is nice being able to get to places real quickly. I also like being mobile. I have been able to be a little more social with friends and different functions they host. This last week, I was able to go to friends' houses to watch the 2 presidential and vice presidential debates. Of course, being here in Celina, I am one of 2 people my age who are democrats. That's ok...I am confident that God will open the eyes of those who can't see the light yet...ha ha ha.
I am not a sports fan...never have been one, but tomorrow night, I am going to a pre-UT/Oklahoma game party. It should be fun. It will be at the home of the pharmacists here in town. My family always roots for Oklahoma, but everyone here in Celina backs UT. Thankfully I don't follow sports so no one expects me to support any certain team.
Well, I should get back to my mundane life..... Have a great day!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
And so life goes on...
Last week, I was seriously asking God to come back. I was so sick of the rat-race that life presents itself as at times. But, like all things, I survived. There were some glimpses of God showing his love and care for me through it all too!
On Friday as I was finishing up my work for the week, my boss pulls up on his Vespa scooter. He is gone this week, and wanted to tell me some final stuff before he left. As he was leaving, he tossed me the keys and told me to keep it for the weekend. Then he asked if I was interested in buying it. The Vespa is great for my situation. It does not require a drivers license or insurance. It goes at normal in-town speeds. He told me he'd sell it to me for $850. Then he told me I could even make payments, so that I wouldn't be stretched for cash.
I woke up on Saturday morning and received a text from my boss letting me know that I am receiving a raise for being with the company for over a year. That will cover my payments, plus a little extra for 8.5 months! Now, I am not strapped to being here in the "Celina Metrolex." ha ha ha
Isn't it funny how we as humans are not able to see past our seemingly insurmountable situations? I was ready to give up last week, but God reminded me that he's still in control and is still looking out for me.
The situation with my electricity is fixed. I got power again on Thrusday. I was able to put a stop payment on my original electricity payment. I did loose the food that was in my refidgerator...but that's okay. I was probably needing to clean it out anyway. My grandmother is here from California, and she decided to buy me and my brother James tons of groceries. So overall, I came out better than I started the week. Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.
I am reminded of a verse in the bible...Psalms 66:12. It says: You have caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but you brought us out into a wealthy place.
It's so true...right?
On Friday as I was finishing up my work for the week, my boss pulls up on his Vespa scooter. He is gone this week, and wanted to tell me some final stuff before he left. As he was leaving, he tossed me the keys and told me to keep it for the weekend. Then he asked if I was interested in buying it. The Vespa is great for my situation. It does not require a drivers license or insurance. It goes at normal in-town speeds. He told me he'd sell it to me for $850. Then he told me I could even make payments, so that I wouldn't be stretched for cash.
I woke up on Saturday morning and received a text from my boss letting me know that I am receiving a raise for being with the company for over a year. That will cover my payments, plus a little extra for 8.5 months! Now, I am not strapped to being here in the "Celina Metrolex." ha ha ha
Isn't it funny how we as humans are not able to see past our seemingly insurmountable situations? I was ready to give up last week, but God reminded me that he's still in control and is still looking out for me.
The situation with my electricity is fixed. I got power again on Thrusday. I was able to put a stop payment on my original electricity payment. I did loose the food that was in my refidgerator...but that's okay. I was probably needing to clean it out anyway. My grandmother is here from California, and she decided to buy me and my brother James tons of groceries. So overall, I came out better than I started the week. Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.
I am reminded of a verse in the bible...Psalms 66:12. It says: You have caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but you brought us out into a wealthy place.
It's so true...right?
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