Monday, September 8, 2008

Back in the old habit...

Ok, so yesterday I did something I swore I would never do again. I went to an audition. The church where I have been attending was having auditions for their band. I haven't really been active with music since before Easter of this year. That might not seem like a long time, but for someone who used to vocalize all the time, it seems like ages to me. I was so nervous too. I felt like I was back in college auditioning for different choirs, musicals, and operas.

I asked my sister, Alyssa, to come with me to the audition. I don't know too many people at the church, so I wanted someone with me that I knew. We got to the church at 3 in the afternoon. I was expecting the auditions to go quickly. But, it didn't...I think I finally sang at about 4:45. To add to my nerves, when I sat at the keyboard to play and sing one of my pieces, the ear monitor didn't work. I was only supposed to do a sound check, but since everything was going "ok" I played and sang the enitre song. The song I played and sang was the old hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul." Then I got up to the microphone to sing my other piece, "You Raise Me Up," and the disc was scratched, so it skipped quite a bit of the introduction. It also had some kind of popping noise going on too. Again, I was just supposed to do a sound check but since I didn't know if the disc would play completely, I went through the entire song. I guess it turned out ok. The music director at the church told me that he would be in touch with me to start getting me incorporated with the band. So, I guess that means I made it. I was so stricken with anxiety. There were a couple of times before I sang where I wanted to run to the restroom to puke...but I didn't. I did, however, manage to get a horrible headache last night. Hopefully that will be the last audition I ever have to do the rest of my life.

I have sang hundreds of times before large groups of people, and I get nervous, but not nearly as bad as I did yesterday. I hate being on display for people's criticism. No...no one criticized anyone, but I think we all know how judgemental humans can be.

When I was finished auditioning, I went out to the foyer where everyone else was at. This man I go to church with asked me how long I have been singing. I counted up the years...18 years!!!! That makes me feel old. Then I counted up how many years I have been playing the piano, and that was 11 years. When I had to verbalize those numbers, it made me realize that I am not quite as young as my mind thinks it is. After I heard this one lady play the piano, I couldn't believe that I had the nerve to play myself for one of the pieces I did. Oh well...at least piano is not my primary instrument.

I am looking forward to getting back into the music field. I think I sang more yesterday just practicing than I have in about a year. My voice is terribly out of shape. But, hopefully that will soon change. I miss reading music and singing harmonies. It will be fun to get back into the swing of things.

My mom and grandma are getting back from Arkansas today, so this evening, I will go over to the parents' house to visit with them for a while.

Well, I hope everyone is having a great day! 'Til next time....

1 comment:

Julie said...

You have got to get control of yourself man!! I'm sorry you were so nervous. Congrats for making it though.

I've got to get out of this chair and get Granny to the hospital for her surgery. We have to be there at 6:00 am. I was wide awake at 3:00 am!!!