He's making a way!

I think we have all heard since children that God will provide for us. He doesn't necessarily give us everything we think we want, but he does have our interests at heart. I know this...been taught for years. You'd think that I might have learned that. But, being the cynical person that I am, I often forget that trait of God.

I have been stressed lately.... My roommate moves July 13. Normally, I'd be panicking and scratching to find a replacement roommate. I have known for a while that I didn't want a roommate after Brooke leaves (Brooke is irreplaceable.), so the stress of figuring out more income to provide for the bills that will soon be doubled has risen to extreme highs the last few weeks. But, I can testify that God is providing. He is allowing me to learn more aspects of the company for which I work. I actually understand the stuff we do, and I can actually explain it to people. This all makes the sales aspect of my job so much easier. Within the last week, I have had 3 very strong leads. One is almost completed...just have to iron out a few technicalities. I had a lady walk up to me this morning asking about our services, and it looks like she will be jumping on board with us soon. God is providing! Having some sales experience really helps with the nerves when I actually get on the phone with prospective clients.

God's taking care of me. I don't understand Him or his timing at times, but he proves himself to be faithful over and over...even when I am not. I realize that God is allowing all this for a purpose.... He is teaching me that he still keeps an eye on me, and that is extremely reassuring.

Anyway, just wanted to share that will everyone. Listen to the song. It uses the analogy of the children of Israel pinned between pharoh and the red sea. Seems kinda fitting for me lately. Janet Paschal is the author of the song. The last few years have been a trip for her. I think it was in 2000 when Janet got married...I believe she was in her forties when her day finally arrived. Then in the recent past few years, she has had to deal extensively with breast cancer, so she really understands what it feels like to be hopeless. She is a great encouragement to me, so I wanted to pass her song on.... Enjoy!

Balloon Festival

This weekend, Celina hosts its 3rd annual Balloon Festival. 18 hot air balloons will be blown up and taking off and landing here in Celina. My friend is the president of the Chamber of Commerce here, and so I get roped into helping with different things whenever there is a chamber event.

Tomorrow will be the big day. There is supposed be a lift off tonight, but I am pretty sure it is too windy for them to take off to night. Winds cannot be over 12 miles per hour. It is a little windy today. Last year, it rained everyday of the month of June, so there was the festival last year, but not flights. Hopefully we can actually see some balloons in the air this year.

I love festivals like these in small towns. When we lived in Cordell, Oklahoma, they had a pumpkin festival in the fall. I love the close community that small towns have. In 1998, I was in Oklahoma at my grandparents house and went to a Peach Festival in Stratford, Oklahoma. Of course, these functions are always outside and hot, but they are fun.

I love festival food. There is nothing better than being able to eat a smoked turkey leg, funnel cakes and cotton candy all in the same place. I know it isn't healthy, but a splurge once a year is well worth it! I plan on having a funnel cake and some potato spirals. yum.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

The Weekend is right around the corner

It is early Friday afternoon. The sun is shining. I am eating a snow cone...a Bob The Builder snow cone. It is actually a blend of flavors...Margarita, Pina Colada and Pineapple. Yum

I finished my book this morning. I woke, wide awake, at 6:30 this morning. So, after I made the coffee, I went to my rocking chair and read until I finished the book at 8:05. I have really enjoyed this last week spending a lot of time reading. It helps me relax and rest. I don't think I have rested so much during a week as I have this last one. I kinda like it!

I do not have any plans for the weekend. I am quite excited about that. I am gonna try and get laundry done this evening so I won't have to worry about it the rest of the week.

I think I might go over to my fried, Alyssa's house this afternoon after work. Perfect start to the weekend. I love hanging out with friends.

Quiet Evenings

Up until the first of this month, I was extremely busy. Now that we have moved on towards the end of the month, I am still busy, but extremely less busy. All my busyness happens during the day or on the weekends. So this whole week, I have been going home after work and just relaxing. I turn on the TV out of habit. I think I like the background noise. But, the thing I have enjoyed most the last three evenings has been going into my bedroom, sitting in my rocker, propping my feet up and reading most of the evening. I am not a big reader, although I have read more in the last three years than I had ever before in my life. I really enjoy reading biographies. I love reading people's stories. Every life is so different, sure some have similar experiences, but it is interesting to see how people relate to similar scenarios.

I am reading the biography of Mark Tewksbury. He won Gold, Silver and Bronze medals in 1992 at the Barcelona Olympics in the swimming competitions. He struggled with coming t terms with being gay in an environment that had no room for homosexuals. Reading his biography lets me know that I am not the only person out there who deals with life changing as a result of being honest about one's true self. He is a great roll model. He overcame some obstacles, heart ache and loss and maintained a positive life that is guided by integrity.

In the end, that is how I would like to have been known. Even though my life may not match up to everybody's standards, I want to be known as a man who loved life and wasn't afraid to follow what he knew to be right. I truly see the benefits of trying to make the best choices every time an option is presented.

Cappie did not sleep well last night. She was up wandering the bed most of the night which made me sleeping a bit of a problem. At 4 this morning, I was wondering if I would be able to fall back asleep. I did, but woke up at 6:30....my alarm goes off at 7. I got up, fed the the animals, and started reading again this morning.

The weather has been very odd. It stormed heavily on Tuesday and yesterday morning. This morning it stayed dark until about 9:30. The sun it now out, but has clouds moving in from the distance. I remember last year...it rained every day in the month of June.

Well, I need to get some work done. Hope everyone has a great day!

Regrets

Usually I am not one to wish that I had made different choices in my life. Some choices had consequences that sucked. Some greatly effected my life. But, I don't regret learning the lessons that I experienced during each difficult time.

One area that I do have a regret though is in sports. I have never enjoyed sports. I don't like being outside long enough to complete a full game. I don't like having to run and sweating. Oddly, when I do play, I can hold my own. I am not saying that I am the best at any of the sports. In basketball, I am horrible at offense, but in defense, I can cover a player so well that they have a hard time scoring. In baseball, I can't throw the ball that far at all...I usually am in the out field and run the ball half way in before I throw it. However, when it comes to batting...I am pretty good. Football...here's the deal, I hate football, I broke my collar bone playing football Thanksgiving morning 1996. I can't throw the ball, I can't block worth anything; but I can catch and out run others. I enjoy playing volley ball ever so often. But that is the extent of my sporting.

I wish I enjoyed playing, watching, or even talking sports. There are so many "communities" built around sports. So many stories are told that involve sports. Many TV events are sports related. Small town football games, college parties, and of course professionals....all this is lost with me.

I am on a mission to find a sport that I will be good at and that I will ENJOY!!!!

Father's Day Weekend

So I had a full weekend. A lot happened, a lot didn't happen. Parts of the weekend dragged on forever, and parts of it sped by quickly?

On Friday, my friend, Alyssa, and I went to my house and relaxed and watched Clean House for a few hours. She went home and Brooke, my roommate, and I had dinner at Pounders. It was fun hanging out with her. We don't get to hang out as much now that she works in Flower Mound. We came home, and started karaoke-ing to some burned CDs that had our favorite songs on it. I must admit, we can harmonize incredibly at times. We soon got tired and went to sleep.

I was woken by my phone ringing on Saturday morning. It was my dad. He invited me over to biscuits and gravy. Scott, Becky, and Sarah Beth had arrived late Friday night. So, I went over to hang out with them. We had a great breakfast. After breakfast and the girls got ready, we went to Frisco and shopped at Half Priced Books, Sam Moon's, Wal-Mart, and Mardels. I got some new sheet music, a Nicole Nordeman CD, and a lot of cleaning supplies and stuff. I had a nice visit with my mom. We hadn't really spoken for a while. When we got back from shopping, dinner was ready. My dad has smoked a brisket and bologna. We had a great "Father's Day" celebration. After eating and visiting for a while, I went home. I then got a call from my old roommate. She wanted to know if I wanted to come play farkel. So I went over and played farkel til about 10. I was asked to be a groomsman in their wedding. It seems like all my friends are getting married this year. It will be fun. It is kinda like a country wedding. I will be wearing a tuxedo jacket and tie, but I will also be wearing wranglers and a cowboy hat. It will be fun.

I woke up Sunday morning to go to the church where my parents attend. I got up early to go to the early service. I didn't want it to seem that I was just going to church for my parents. I rode with a lady I work with. Anyway, got to church, and my parents were there. ha ha ha. My brother James was preaching at his church and they were gonna go to hear him speak, but didn't want to miss their church either. I am glad that I went. I am not sure if I will go again. I appreciated the kind spirit of everyone I met. But I have reservations when it comes to being busy in Christian work. I don't believe that one should keep himself so busy that he doesn't have "time" to acknowledge issues in his own life. What happens when there is "down-time"? Does that mean the Christian man suddenly faces reality and backslides? I don't know exactly how express this area of concern. I know that there is a serious side of God and that He is powerful, but I also believe that we often miss out on the loving affectionate side of Him too. I don't like the "me + self denial(self hate) = God is glorified" stance on God's true identity. Yes, we are to fear him, but we are also supposed to love Him. I have never been able to love someone completely if I am always living in fear of him. There has to be a happy median. The service reminded me a lot of my high school youth group days. Although I have extremely fond memories of those times, I also see that I have matured as a person. We can't live life without acknowledging certain aspects of who we are. God calls us as we are, with all that we are ... he doesn't wait until we have one "struggle" mastered. I don't know.... I am very glad that I went to church yesterday, but I left a little confused. I got home from church at 10:30, so I had the whole day, pretty much, to get my laundry and stuff done. And I did!!! Laundry is all caught up.
I have a down comforter, but I haven't been using it since it is white and it is dirty. The care instructions say that it needs to be dry cleaned. It costs $35 to get it dry cleaned; I only paid $40 for it. See my issue? So I put it in the washer. I used a lot of oxy-clean. After it came out of the dryer, I was so pleased to find that it is as white as when I first purchased it. And, it is just a fluffy and warm. I am not saying to wash it every week, but I am so happy to know that it doesn't have to go to the cleaners.

Today seems to be a great day so far. Everyone is back from their weekend trips, and the office is full again. Anyway, I hope everyone has a great day! Talk with you soon!

Friday

Friday the 13th.... ha ha ha

Okay, now that I have that out of the way, Good Morning!!!! It is Friday, the weekend is a few hours away. There is reason to smile.

Cappie woke me up this morning. She wasn't feeling well. Thank God, it was right as my alarm was about to go off. I am pleased to report that Cappie is back to normal. It started my morning early though. I drank way too much coffee. Oh well...at least I will stay awake today.

My friend, Dana, came over last night. She is a friend of mine from when I was a server at Randy's Steakhouse. She was actually the first person I trained with back in 2003. I can't believe it was that long ago. Dana has kinda become a life coach for me. She had a lot of the same mistakes and set backs that I have had, so her advice and wisdom is great, and greatly appreciated. I am so grateful for friends. There is nothing better than a friend who brings a smile with her!!!

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. Catch ya next week!

New Week with New Worries

Doesn't it seem that life skips by from one worry to another now-a-days? I was so relieved and happy when my friends' wedding was over. I could relax. Nothing to worry about. Yeah right.... I remembered that this weekend is Father's Day...a family holiday. This just raises new anxieties in me. I think I am supposed to be giving my mom space and not going around, not talking with, and not trying to mend a relationship....whatever. Since it is Father's Day, do I show up? Do I just drop a card by early in the morning? Do I just call him? It's Father's Day, I know; but tension radiating off my mom could ruin a great day. However, if I don't show up, this could be fodder for the fire.

My brother, Scott, and his family are coming to town this weekend too. Am I allowed to show up and say hi? I doubt they would want to come to my place since the only communication between us is pretty much just my mom.

I have two brothers that have given me total support. That is a huge relief and foundation.

I miss family....

Weekend Re-cap

This weekend might have been the most I have ever been stressed about a wedding. I have never played so many parts in the planning and executing of a wedding. But it was such a blessing to be a part of. Everything turned out perfect. Alyssa was pleased with every aspect of her wedding. Here is how the celebrations started:

Thursday - We (the family and I) had manicures and pedicures. Then we had lunch at the country club. We received only half the flowers in the mail that day. We start panicking. My evening ends early. I go home and get laundry done.

Friday - I got a call from Kim (Mother of the Groom) that she would be at my house at 10:30 to pick me up for shopping. We were gonna replace the flowers that didn't arrive. That time got pushed back to 11, then 11:30, so I decided to ride my bike out there. After I got there, the rest of the flowers arrived. We continued to work on flowers, luminaires, etc. Then we all broke apart to get ready for the rehearsal. It was supposed to start at 7, however, I didn't get picked up until 7:20. We were late. The rehearsal was a typical rehearsal. Then we went to Manny's for the dinner. It was a fabulous mexican buffet. My friend Lynzie joined us after the eating. It was fun. We went back to the reception site(The groom's parents' home). We all visited for a while, then Lynzie and I went back to my house for a bit. I got in bed at 3 in the morning.

Saturday - The wedding day was frantic. I got over to the house to start working on the flowers. We worked until about 3 on the flowers. Then I started on the mother of the bride's hair. Then at 4:30 Danielle and I went over to the house where the bride, her sister and all the girls in the wedding were waiting for me to arrive and do their hair. I finished everyone at 6:20. I then had to get back to my house and shower, shave, and put my suit on. Needless to say, I was late. I spent too much time getting everyone else ready that I didn't have enough time to get ready. I got to the church at 7:05. It was supposed to start at 7. I walked into the back of the church. Had enough time to pose for a pic with the bride, then walked out to the piano and started playing. It all turned out perfect. It was hot though. The church was packed and the air conditioner couldn't keep up. It was a beautiful Episcopal service. After the wedding, we went to the reception where we had the best time. It was such a special celebration of two wonderful people. The bride and groom left at 1 in the morning, then the party dwindled until there were about 10 of us left at 5 in the morning. I went home and crashed.

Sunday - I woke up by 9, but wished I had been able to sleep a lot more. I had decided that I was not going to the "Day After Brunch." However, I went. They opened all their presents. We then went back to the groom's parents house and swam until 11 that night. It was fun.

It was so nice being a part of this weekend. I loved the feeling of the family being so close. My heart ached a little as I wished that I my family was just as close. I loved being a part of the weekend, but at the same time, I had a sense of jealousy, too! I will post some pics when I get them.

Last night I finally had the emotional melt-down that I was in dire need of for the last few weeks. My brother, Eric, called me. He made sure that I knew that I had his support in my life. We always shared a room growing up. But, it hasn't been until the last few years that Eric and I have built a friendship. His encouragement was received at the most perfect time! I cried and cried all evening long. I went to bed by 9. When I woke this morning, my eyes were so swollen from crying. But, the emotional relief is fantastic.

I have a meeting with the pastor of my parents' church today. Last Tuesday, he came into my office to speak with me. He wants me to start going to church. However, I have great reservations about going to church where my parents attend. I don't think we are able to. Their beliefs and mine are different. So I don't want to attend somewhere if I can't be my honest self. And, I don't think that is a possibility if I go to church where my parents go. I realize the importance of church to them, so I had rather just step away. So, needless to say, I am nervous about the meeting.

Well, I better get some work done! Hope everyone has a fantastic day!

Winds of Change

The wind is blowing today...pretty hard. Riding my bike to work was more of a work out than usual. I love the warm spring winds. I always seem to get nostalgic this time of year. I get dejavu every spring. i forget how much I love this time of year. I hate that it is hot at times, but it is the refreshing breezes that make it so enjoyable...the breezes that are mixed with pollen, humidity, the smell of fresh cut grass. It is the feelin

Isn't that how life can be at times though. Life can be so trying and "hot" at times. Honestly, this last week took me to the "edge", but today, I received the refreshing "breeze of serenity" that we are all in dire need of at times. Thank you God! I don't like that life takes us though circumstances where we end up asking God why at times, but I am grateful for the moment when I realize that He is so much wiser, His ways are so much higher.

This song makes me think of days like this:

Melancholy

So, it has been a while since I last blogged. It's not that I don't have some great events to write about, it's just that I have been in a melancholy funk and don't really see my happenings with any exciting importance.

I went to Oklahoma this last weekend. My niece's birthday was celebrated this last weekend. I had fun hanging out with my cousins and siblings. We painted my brother and his wife's house since he is away in the military. Unfortunately, that turned into a huge argument between me and my mother. It is a shame that every time my family gets together with mixed generations, there always seem to be some kind of misunderstanding and an argument follows. This time it involved me with my mom...kinda odd that we decided to argue up in Oklahoma...we could have stayed here in Celina for that. I am glad that we were able to get the painting done for Whitney. I enjoy visiting with her. She and Katie are such a great additions to our family. Katie got a lot of great presents.

Saturday evening, my cousins, their spouses, my brother James, and I went to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar. I had never been. It was fun getting to visit with just our age group. I wish I lived closer and was able to hang out with my cousins more often. We are quite the diverse group. I am so glad that we are learning to appreciate each other more the older we get.

It is a beautiful day here in Celina. Makes me want to stay outside. I am very fortunate to have a desk right next to the big window. I get to see everyone who drive through downtown Celina. It is one of the treats of living and working in a small town.

The pastor of a new church her in town came into my office today and sat at my desk and visited with me about starting to attend their church. He understands the reservations I have about going to church right now, and some of my views of life. We are going to have lunch together on Tuesday to visit more in depth. I really appreciated him coming in and visiting with me. He is a nice guy. I look forward to our visit next week.

Tomorrow is the last day of work this week for me. My best friend, Alyssa, is getting married on Saturday. I will be working on the wedding the last two days of the week. I am really excited that she and John D. are getting married. They are a great couple. I love when couples are truly in love now-a-days. It will be a fun weekend. I am sure I will be glad when it is all over though.

Well, I guess I had better get some work done. Have a great day/week/weekend.