And so life goes on...

Last week, I was seriously asking God to come back. I was so sick of the rat-race that life presents itself as at times. But, like all things, I survived. There were some glimpses of God showing his love and care for me through it all too!

On Friday as I was finishing up my work for the week, my boss pulls up on his Vespa scooter. He is gone this week, and wanted to tell me some final stuff before he left. As he was leaving, he tossed me the keys and told me to keep it for the weekend. Then he asked if I was interested in buying it. The Vespa is great for my situation. It does not require a drivers license or insurance. It goes at normal in-town speeds. He told me he'd sell it to me for $850. Then he told me I could even make payments, so that I wouldn't be stretched for cash.

I woke up on Saturday morning and received a text from my boss letting me know that I am receiving a raise for being with the company for over a year. That will cover my payments, plus a little extra for 8.5 months! Now, I am not strapped to being here in the "Celina Metrolex." ha ha ha

Isn't it funny how we as humans are not able to see past our seemingly insurmountable situations? I was ready to give up last week, but God reminded me that he's still in control and is still looking out for me.

The situation with my electricity is fixed. I got power again on Thrusday. I was able to put a stop payment on my original electricity payment. I did loose the food that was in my refidgerator...but that's okay. I was probably needing to clean it out anyway. My grandmother is here from California, and she decided to buy me and my brother James tons of groceries. So overall, I came out better than I started the week. Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

I am reminded of a verse in the bible...Psalms 66:12. It says: You have caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but you brought us out into a wealthy place.

It's so true...right?

The harder I try....

Ok, I think I am about to give up....Give up on adulthood, that is. It seems the harder I try to be responsible and make the best choices, the more opposition I find in my way. I got home from work last night to find that my electricity had been turned off. It seems that they never received my payment. I use a power company where I didn't have to put down a deposit. Which is cool, but that means that if payments are late, then the power gets turned off. So, I had to make a payment over the phone. When I asked what will happen if/when they receive my check, I was told they will go ahead and deposit the check. It will be posted as a credit to my account. Which, if I had the cash to burn, that would be great. However, I don't have the extra $175 to just double pay an electric bill in one month.

Last night was quite interesting at my place. I lit candles and relaxed on the couch with my dog. Cappie has been the best little friend in the world. I can hold her and she makes me smile. I totally understand why dogs are called man's best friend. I love snuggling with her in the mornings and playing with her when we first wake.

I cut and colored my friends hair last night too. She is getting married, so since she is getting all new dishes and kitchen stuff, she gave me her old stuff. I love getting new-used stuff like that. I am not going to use the dishes she gave me everyday, but I don't think one can have too many dishes. I never know when I will have company and might need an extra plate or an extra bowl. She also gave me a set of mixing bowl...I LOVE MATCHING MIXING BOWL!!!! They are white with a blue ring around the top of it.

I went home during lunch to check and see if my power is back...and it is not. I want to cry.....

This time of year

There is something about a change in weather that brings a smile to my face. I was doing laundry last night and this morning before work, and as I was folding shorts, I wondered if I would be wearing them anymore this year. Last night, I turned the air conditioner completely off and opened all the windows to my place. I slept so good last night. I think it was the combination of the cool, fall-like weather and the fresh air that filled my home.

While getting ready for work this morning, I turned to a different side of my closet...the long sleeved section. I enjoy cooler weather more than I do warm weather. Strictly on the side of fashion, I have more clothes to support cool/cold weather than I do summer wear.

I think there is something about the brisk air that takes me back to when I was about 5 years old. My family lived in Fresno, California. I remember getting ready to go to kindergarten. My dad always woke us up every morning. He worked nights, so his time to spend with us was waking us up and getting us ready for school. I remember wearing short sleeved shirts, but inthe mornings as we were walking out the door and going to school, I would freeze. By the end of the day, I was glad I wore short sleeves.

I guess this weather makes me a little nostalgic. I want to go buy a pumpkin...not that I would eat it or carve it into a jack-o-lantern. I want to simmer apple cider on the stove. I can't wait to start seeing the leaves drastically change their colors. I look forward to wearing sweaters. For me this is the perfect time of year.

Back in the old habit...

Ok, so yesterday I did something I swore I would never do again. I went to an audition. The church where I have been attending was having auditions for their band. I haven't really been active with music since before Easter of this year. That might not seem like a long time, but for someone who used to vocalize all the time, it seems like ages to me. I was so nervous too. I felt like I was back in college auditioning for different choirs, musicals, and operas.

I asked my sister, Alyssa, to come with me to the audition. I don't know too many people at the church, so I wanted someone with me that I knew. We got to the church at 3 in the afternoon. I was expecting the auditions to go quickly. But, it didn't...I think I finally sang at about 4:45. To add to my nerves, when I sat at the keyboard to play and sing one of my pieces, the ear monitor didn't work. I was only supposed to do a sound check, but since everything was going "ok" I played and sang the enitre song. The song I played and sang was the old hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul." Then I got up to the microphone to sing my other piece, "You Raise Me Up," and the disc was scratched, so it skipped quite a bit of the introduction. It also had some kind of popping noise going on too. Again, I was just supposed to do a sound check but since I didn't know if the disc would play completely, I went through the entire song. I guess it turned out ok. The music director at the church told me that he would be in touch with me to start getting me incorporated with the band. So, I guess that means I made it. I was so stricken with anxiety. There were a couple of times before I sang where I wanted to run to the restroom to puke...but I didn't. I did, however, manage to get a horrible headache last night. Hopefully that will be the last audition I ever have to do the rest of my life.

I have sang hundreds of times before large groups of people, and I get nervous, but not nearly as bad as I did yesterday. I hate being on display for people's criticism. No...no one criticized anyone, but I think we all know how judgemental humans can be.

When I was finished auditioning, I went out to the foyer where everyone else was at. This man I go to church with asked me how long I have been singing. I counted up the years...18 years!!!! That makes me feel old. Then I counted up how many years I have been playing the piano, and that was 11 years. When I had to verbalize those numbers, it made me realize that I am not quite as young as my mind thinks it is. After I heard this one lady play the piano, I couldn't believe that I had the nerve to play myself for one of the pieces I did. Oh well...at least piano is not my primary instrument.

I am looking forward to getting back into the music field. I think I sang more yesterday just practicing than I have in about a year. My voice is terribly out of shape. But, hopefully that will soon change. I miss reading music and singing harmonies. It will be fun to get back into the swing of things.

My mom and grandma are getting back from Arkansas today, so this evening, I will go over to the parents' house to visit with them for a while.

Well, I hope everyone is having a great day! 'Til next time....

The Tuesday after Labor Day....

I love having holidays spaced throughout the year, but I always look back at the weekend after one has passed and wonder, "Where did the Holiday go?" It was a great weekend though. On Friday night, Alyssa and I decorated for our friend, Danielle's bachelorette party. Then on Saturday, we cooked and and finished the decorating just in time as guest showed up. We had a great meal of ham, chicken pot pie, salad, pasta salad, mash potatoes, corn on the cob, rolls, and Magnolia cupcakes for dessert. We had a fun night that ended up in the pool.

Sunday and Monday, I spent a lot of time with my family. We are getting ready to go to Oklahoma tomorrow for the birth of my brother Eric's son, Jesse Ray. I am not sure of all the exact details other than we are leaving Celina at 8 tomorrow morning and won't get back until late Thursday night. While we are there, my Grandma from California will arrive, so there will be around 25-30 family members that I will be visiting with in the next few days. My brother Scott is also showing up for the birth. I guess we will be having somewhat of a reunion. Eric's wedding was the last time all my siblings and parents were together.

I am glad the heat of the summer is almost over. It has been warm (quite warm) and humid the last few days. I like having breaks in the heat and today we got one. It is overcast and windy today. My favorite weather. I just wish I had motivation to work during days like today.

When I was a kid, my mom started a tradition that I have always loved. At dinner each night, we had to name one blessing from the day, one disappointment and one anticipation. Today, I am blessed that I had a nice lunch with friends, Finances disappoint me (ha ha ha), and I am looking forward to seeing family tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a great day!